Say What?

This archived article was written by: Les Bowen, B.J. Harmon and Jeff Spears

Les can say what he wants
Say What? was originally written by Les Bowen and Jonas Harmon. Then B.J. took over his little brother’s position. He’s been too busy saving lives (see the story on the front page of this week’s Eagle), so he hasn’t had time to write. Although, he did give us some of the fodder for this week’s column, so we can’t take his name off the article. So Jeff is stepping in for an issue or so, which means that Say What? is now a collaborative effort by three people. Hey, anyone want to join the newspaper staff? We’ll let you help write Say What? That’d be grand.
We don’t want to lose our readership, so we figured that we have an obligation to feed you some more of our mindless ranting. Good times.
So this week, we are picking on just about everyone. We’re sorry if you did something dumb enough to deserve our attention, and we didn’t notice. Maybe you should try harder. Remember, it’s the little things that kill (Thank you, Gavin Rossdale. For those of you that don’t know who our good friend Gavin is, try listening to some late- to mid-90s alternative music).
Lights out on campus
For those of you who haven’t been away from your Playstation or your screaming-fast and oh! so reliable Internet connection for a few weeks, it’s now November. That means, we’re heading into the longest nights of the year. If you haven’t taken introduction to astronomy, we’ll fill you in. December 21 is the winter solstice, which is the day with the least sunlight and the most darkness.
The Eagle has tackled the issue of lights out on campus numerous times in the past, but somehow, it hasn’t quite hit home with our friends over at physical facilities. Granted, the maintenance workers are only here during daylight, and drive around on their new Toro carts, which have headlights anyway.
A few issues ago, we applauded the college for installing an emergency call box. We claimed that it was installed in a poorly chosen location. It turns out we were wrong. Now the darkest place on campus starts near our beloved Gibby. Fortunately for the poor students of CEU, the streetlights on 400 North provide adequate light to get to the LDS Institute and Catholic Newman Center.
However, we are particularly concerned for two groups of students: the residents of Burtenshaw Hall and the residents of Sessions Hall.
The residents of Burtenshaw Hall are, for the most part, athletes. And as such, they need to go to the BDAC on a regular basis. Now, our basketball teams are walking home from evening practices and games in the dark. That can’t be safe. Imagine CEU’s star center getting mugged by the administration wing of the old Reeves Building.
The residents of Sessions Hall are all on meal plans, which means that students taking a late dinner at the cafeteria are walking home from dinner in the dark.
It doesn’t get any better for residents of Aaron Jones or Tucker, who walk home from evening classes in the new Reeves Building in the dark.
It’s a good thing that they can run to that emergency call box when pursued by some unknown mugger or serial pickpocket looking for a free Eagle Card.
Speaking about Eagle Cards, check out Jeff’s story about the cafeteria and their brilliant idea of stealing money – we mean providing services to the students.
Doors on the restrooms
The restrooms in the new Reeves Building have no doors. We don’t know what the brilliant architects were thinking, but privacy in the restroom is not limited to sight. Those in the hallway should be protected from sounds and smells. We’ll leave it at that.
Sacred cows
We were talking a few weeks ago, as Jeff and Erik were writing their story on a Tuesday afternoon trying to meet their deadlines, but disturbingly distracted by a number of soft-core porn sites. Anyway, the conversation led to how difficult it is to get anything done at CEU. For some reason, there is always another vice-president or dean to run ideas by for approval. It doesn’t matter whether you’re trying to save the debate team, organize a night for bands to play in the ballroom, approve another scholarship for an ambassador or change the name of the College of Eastern Utah to Eastern University, or whatever it is EU stands for. The only way you can accomplish anything is if it’s within your own department. Take food service for example. They can jack up prices (again refer to Jeff’s article) or violate health code, and no one seems to think it’s a problem. Maybe the newspaper should take up writing yellow journalism, unfounded editorializing or, better yet, libel and soft-core porn addictions.
Anyway, it seems that every time anyone has a brilliant idea at CEU, someone else already has that idea, and is offended when someone actually does something with that idea, or it conflicts with someone else’s pet project. To quote Rodney King, “Can’t we all just get along?” We again call upon CEU’s faculty, staff and administration to forget about all their pet projects, their sacred cows and their petty differences and try to save the college.
It’s simple. CEU has been losing money, and for the second year in a row, has lost 10 percent of its enrollment. If we can’t get it together, CEU will not be open in 10 years. And everyone who didn’t care enough to promote programs that increase enrollment and revenue, while reducing spending on scholarships or unnecessary perks, will be standing around the unemployment office wondering what went wrong. This is your wake-up call. Let go of your petty differences. Support your coworkers’ good ideas, and boycott the cafeteria. That’s the answer to CEU’s problems. Okay, maybe not, but it’s a start.
The Eagle supports CEU
Members of The Eagle staff have been proud to support the last two basketball games, the school play, the cafeteria, bread ‘n’ soup night, the dorms, the efforts of ASCEU, and the interests of the students concerning their ability (or lack thereof) to communicate with the outside world via the Internet or telephone.
Props to the basketball team and their 90-point blowout against Clearfield Job Corps. We wish to tell the drama department of the excellent job in the last play. We eat in the cafeteria. We went to bread ‘n’ soup night this week. Some of us live in the dorms. We don’t use the Internet. Okay, maybe we do, but we come to the newsroom so we can get a connection. And we don’t use the phones on campus; we’ve just purchased contracts with Verizon Wireless.
Say What? is written by staff writers for the real student newspaper of the College of Eastern Utah. Send your comments to [email protected], but don’t expect us to reply, respond, or even care.