August 15, 2022

The hot seat, odds and ends, and why the fun is just beginning

It’s the time of football season when the magnifying glass is turned on college players and coaches and the cold eye of evaluation takes a long look. Seniors are on the hot seat proving their worth in hopes of being drafted by the NFL. Coaches are trying to secure big-time recruits and win football games to keep their jobs and fat paychecks rolling in.  It’s also an interesting time for athletic directors, who must listen to the grumbling of wealthy alumni regarding why the current coach isn’t making it at State U and needs to be sent packing.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

This archived article was written by: KC Smurthwaite

It’s the time of football season when the magnifying glass is turned on college players and coaches and the cold eye of evaluation takes a long look. Seniors are on the hot seat proving their worth in hopes of being drafted by the NFL. Coaches are trying to secure big-time recruits and win football games to keep their jobs and fat paychecks rolling in.  It’s also an interesting time for athletic directors, who must listen to the grumbling of wealthy alumni regarding why the current coach isn’t making it at State U and needs to be sent packing.
Currently, several coaches are on the hot seat, including Tyrone Willingham at Washington (who resigned at press time), Tommy Tuberville at Auburn (ever thought of trying just “Tom” and risk not sounding like you belong on Sesame Street, coach?), Bret Bielema of Wisconsin and Joe Glenn at Wyoming. But before you start feeling sorry for these guys for being in the short line for a pink slip, consider this:
Most of them earn a lot of money (close to seven figures or more for most major college football coaches) and unless they stuck it all in stocks and got stuck in return, they probably don’t need to work a day again  for the rest of their lives.
Espn.com has reported that Tommy Tuberville is given two automobiles as part of his contract, and one gets its gas, service and other maintenance done on the school’s tab. Not a bad deal, Tommy. Uh, Tom.
Bret Bielema, whose Wisconsin Badgers are a paltry 4-4, has a contract that states if he gets married while the head coach at the school, he will be given a  second  car and a family golf membership. Not a bad way to start off your wedded bliss, coach. Fore!
San Jose State Head Coach Dick Tomey receives an undisclosed amount if the school’s home crowd averages 17,000. Some high schools in Texas average more than that.
And in a slap to every underpaid professor, teacher or administrator in the entire country, Kansas Head Coach Mark Mangino receives $1,000 for every football player who graduates.
Not bad, eh? Still feeling sorry for those hot-seat coaches?
Now, this is where the fun begins. Oh, how college football fans love craziness, and not all of it comes from upsets. Some of it comes from other sources.
Washington State University, which has been dubbed the “worst major college football team in the country,” has been outscored 226-30 in their past four games. Ouch. It gets worse. WSU, two weeks ago, was so desperate for a quarterback that they held open try-outs for the position. Yep, you’ve got it. Ever wanted to play quarterback in the PAC-10? Here’s your chance. After the tryouts, rumor on campus was that a freshman girl finished third. Good arm strength, not much mobility.
If you’re squeamish, skip this paragraph. Mesa State’s Trevor Wikre, an offensive lineman at the school, severely injured his left pinky. The senior found out that if he had surgery, his football season would be over. Not so fast, Wikre said. If the pinky was amputated, he would miss only one game. The decision? It was easy. Hey, the guy’s on the O-line. “Get out the saw,” is what Wikre told the docs, or words to that effect. Now that’s commitment!
Okay, this one is from the pros, but it has a college link. You can finally rest, Oakland Raider fans, your coach has been fired. The new hire? Tom Cable, who, in four seasons at that collegiate football powerhouse Idaho, managed to win 11 games while losing 35. Nice, hire. But give the guy his props: the Raiders are 1-2 since he took over. Some guys just aren’t cut out to coach in college.
Our award for the best quote, or series of quotes, goes to the aforementioned Coach Bielema of Wisconsin. According to an ESPN blogger, during a news conference the Beleaguered Badger Beilema said of losing a game, “It’s a mental thing.” Okay, fair enough. Football players have to think on the field. A little, anyway. Then he reportedly later said in the same news conference, “It’s a physical thing.” Okay. Yes, football is meant to be physical. Then, Coach B. said, “It’s an everything thing. We have to improve what we do in all three phases of the game. We have to improve our mental approach.” Huh? No wonder this guy’s job is on the line. Memo to Bret: Get married. Soon. You’ll at least get a car out of the deal. Ask for a Lexus, settle for a Ford.
 Oh, college football. From try-outs to amputations to it’s an everything thing, you have to admit sports fans: It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email