Three simple college successs tips for dummies

This archived article was written by: Dixon Woodruff

College can be the most stressful and busy time in an adult’s life. There are so many aspects to being a successful student. College is more than grades and degrees. Within the college experience there are countless opportunities and roads to explore. There are sports, clubs, dances, activities, study groups and friends outside of the basic classroom setting. Some students seem to be gifted with the ability and dedication to get straight A’s and enjoy their time while at college. How do they do it?
The quest for excellent report cards and an enjoyable and memorable college experience starts with a good sleep pattern. Studies show that the recommended amount of sleep for students should be eight hours per night and most do not get near that number. Eight hours is a third of a day and students have busy lives. What these studies don’t show is the amount of time wasted sleeping. If a student goes to college for four years and gets eight full hours of sleep every night the whole time, they will have slept 16 months of their precious time away. Sleep is overrated. The less a human sleeps, the more they will be awake. The more they are awake, the more time they will have. This is basic math and somehow scientists throughout the world try to be convincing with their fancy studies about how much better students function when they sleep. They lie and are trying to ruin college for the whole world by making students sleep their lives away.
The second tip for getting degrees with joy and ease is food. Those silly scientists have come up with more ridiculous studies about eating patterns of students. A popular term used is “freshman 15.” This refers to the amount of pounds students often gain their first year of college.
For the majority of college students, this will be the first time they are living on their own away from their parents. They don’t know how to cook so they buy microwavable food which is packed with delicious, but not nutritious goodness. Scientists think that this is a bad thing. Scientists 500 years ago also thought that Earth was the center of the universe. What the scientists don’t know is that 15 pounds isn’t even half of what a student should gain their first year of college. The “freshman 15” should be the “freshman 50.” Students who gain at least 50 pounds their first year of college are bound for success. Throughout history, the wealthy and successful have been pleasantly plump. Fat people get respect in American society. They dominate Hollywood, own the runway and win the MVP award in essentially every major sporting event. Flab is fab!
One of the leading causes of students dropping out of post-secondary education comes from a lack of funding. Scholarships may not be possible, grants are hard to come by and the overall cost of higher education just keeps adding up. Money doesn’t grow on trees, but there is a secret stash hidden that is accessible to those who know where to look.
Next to tuition and housing, the single biggest expense is books. Some books can cost a few hundred dollars. The real travesty comes with the knowledge that these books will be used for a semester and then sold for a fraction of the purchase price, much like a new car.
This problem can be turned into a goldmine. With hundreds of thousands of students in this country who have this same problem, there is a quick and easy way to make a few million dollars. All that needs to be done is set up a nationwide book exchange/rental/purchase company. All that has to be done is figure out how simple it can be to coordinate millions of book exchanges each year to make a small profit of a few dollars on each book. After one year, millions of dollars will be made and all those little expenses of college will no longer be a problem to a multimillionaire.
College may seem difficult, but following these three simple and logical tips will prove that it is not only possible, but really quite easy and enjoyable.