Stranger Things Promotional Exhibits Turn Zoo “Upside Down” (satire entry)

DISCLAIMER: This piece is a work of satire, modeled after the show, Stranger Things. It thus contains dark humor about themes in the show such as torture, body horror, death, and drugs. If that doesn’t appeal to you, DON’T READ THIS.

A zoo in Florida has recently come under fire for its new Upside Down section. This attraction, designed as cross-promotion with the new season of Stranger Things, takes guests into a musty run-down pseudo-city with artificial cooling so they can actually feel like they’re in the Upside-Down. Many have praised this experience for its immersive design and unusual sights, but it is not without its controversies.

    The food has been one of the major sticking points for guests. In the Upside Down experience, you can visit parodies of famous fast food restaurants such as Burger Overlord, Tentacle Bell, and Chick-Flayer. These are known to serve such delicacies as Demodog Burgers, Crisp Tendril Burritos, and the Fried Meat Sludge Sandwich, respectively, with a side of Mountain Dew Flayed Flesh, a new exclusive flavor. While an innovative attempt to convey what it would be like to serve people some stranger things to eat, the flavor of many of these foods has been described as “unappetizing” and “tasting like rotten fish steeped in algae and mold”. One person who ordered a Fried Meat Sludge sandwich even reported finding a sharp barb stuck in her tongue. One critic who enjoyed the Spicy Demodog Burger described it by saying, “The earthy undertones complement the rich fermented herring flavor with a sweet and sour foretaste going in and a spicy yet bitter aftertaste for a complex experience. 10/10. It was well worth the strange parasite that ate my gallbladder.” The Scoops Ahoy ice cream shop was initially a big draw. Still, it got shut down due to nobody wanting to order rotting tentacle-flavored ice cream and mass disappointment from female patrons about the lack of lesbians. The zoo even made a marketing deal with McDonald’s in an attempt to make more money. Still, the menu items McDonald’s is serving, such as the Big Mike polywog burger and the Flayed McNuggets, have proven to be even worse and more expensive.

    The animal exhibits were initally far better recieved. The demogorgon enclosure was widely seen as a great way to appeal to fans, and people praised the actor in the demogorgon costume’s talent for making the creature seem truly lifelike. The animatronic demodogs in the neighboring enclosures with lore details on the demogorgon cycle of life were appreciated for their clever parody of zoo informational signs. The Demobat enclosure was very popular as well, with people unable to tell whether the demobats were drones of some sort, advanced marionettes, or giant flying foxes in costumes. Of course, the crown jewel of the experience was the enclosure containing a giant mind flayer proxy that appeared to be made of mangled bone, cartilage, and meat alongside some lesser monsters of a similar composition. The animatronics at play were widely seen as incredibly impressive. Overall, the exhibits seemed like the perfect experience for any aspiring Stranger Things fan. Then, the demogorgon got out.

    On November 28th, the demogorgon escaped its enclosure, and it proceeded to kill and eat a zookeeper in front of a visiting 3rd-grade class, leading to the premature and immediate end of their zoo field trip. It managed to kill a few guests before it could be brought under control. From then on, animal escapes became even more common. At least one visiting musician was eaten by demobats, to the shock and horror of guests. There was an occasion where a demodog got out and killed a health insurance CEO. People were so shocked that they shrugged and went on with their zoo experience. As of yet, the electric fence keeping in the giant mind flayer proxy has held, but some people who got too close have been reported as losing all sense of self or melting into meat goop. With all of these high-profile controversies, the zoo may sadly get shut down before the exciting grand opening of the new Camazotz exhibit and the Deomodog petting zoo.

    Even the gift shop has not escaped controversy. The gift shop has some harmless and high-quality merchandise, such as demogorgon action figures or retro snacks and drinks. However, some pieces have raised a few eyebrows, such as Argyle’s Candy Joints, the Chief Hopper body pillow(which sold out almost immediately), a Tickle-Me-Vecna doll, and a Break-My-Limbs Chrissy doll(sold with plastic drugs, batteries not included). Some products have even been criticized as potentially dangerous, such as miniature holes in the time-space continuum modeled after the portal from Season 3. The store’s decision to branch out into selling pet Pollywogs has been especially controversial, especially since the care guide recommends storing them in enclosures they will rapidly outgrow and feeding them a diet of largely nougat.

    The park has recently branched out into even more controversial experiences to attract more tourists. There is an experience where volunteers can pay money to be pinned down and have a tentacle shoved down their throat. This will allow them to experience what it’s like to be possessed by the mind flayer and barf out a new family pet. The zoo’s Psychic Chiropractor massages have been criticized for leaving the recipient with all of their limbs broken. Both experiences have been popular with certain niche crowds but have largely been the subject of outrage. Other experiences the zoo offers include hopping in the back of a truck and being driven hundreds of miles around the countryside by some guy on weed, being shaved bald and shoved in a sensory deprivation tank, or authentic russian gulag escape rooms with real armed guards.

    When asked to comment on these controversies, the Zoo’s new manager, Henry Creel, said, “You see… humans… are a unique type of pest—multiplying… and poisoning our world. Er, I mean, we are deeply troubled that you didn’t enjoy your experience at our zoo. The security failures that led to harm were an accident caused by a random intern, and they will not happen again. We will be issuing a partial refund of your tickets as long as you promise not to sue. Although it matters not since we can easily kill your lawyers… time. Kill your lawyer’s time as we maintain we are not culpable, since you signed the waivers.”

    The Upside Down experience was a truly innovative feat of zoo design, so it is a shame such difficulties plagued it. Plans to expand it to other states, such as Indiana and Ohio, have been put on indefinite hiatus, as the zoo is already plagued by massive amounts of legal fees. As well, Henry Creel has been caught making awful ukulele songs and saying some incredibly hateful things on social media, and it is suspected he may be in the Epstein files. Maybe it’s time this Upside Down was turned Rightside Up.