True Eagle night and the shattered lives left behind

This archived article was written by: Jeff Spears and Erik Falor

Each year, ASCEU sponsered True Eagle night crosses the line of what is acceptable and proper in a school event.
This campus activity takes away from the integrity of our school, and defaces the morals our college should stand for. The purpose of an institution of education is to inform and prepare us to become responsible members of society. It is not to confuse us and turn us into Vegas street dwellers, forced to lead a life of sleeping in trashy hotels and selling ourselves to support an illicit drug habit.
True Eagle night takes away everything that is good and pure from all those who participate, and replaces it with the hollow emptiness known only to Oasis, George Michaels, and any others who have lost every shred of dignity while tumbling to the bottom.
Although well intentioned, this activity is rightly considered as the second most destructive school sanctioned activity after the Coal Miner’s Brawl.
True Eagle night, after all, is no ice cream social or magic show. The participants come with an anticipation for companionship and leave with a demoralizing sense of self-repulsion. Instead of sparking a romance, students are more likely to come down with mono and spend the rest of the semester lethargic and lonely.
Not only that, but by promoting this sort of get togther, ASCEU sends mixed signals to already confused and hormone-crazy young adults. You have the school on one hand advocating responsible reproductive behavior, and on the other hand hosting a Larry Flynt-esque softcore-porn party.
True Eagle leads to more and worse acts of degradation; a vicious and downward spiral toward more regrettable actions in the future. It is simply a slippery slope commenced upon by a small and seemingly insignificant exchange.
There very well may be a Chinese idiom that says that “Every mistake begins on top of a rock.” Who can ever look at Gibby the same way again, knowing what takes place on his figurative lap? No amount of Krylon Color can ever cover up the mental scars left over from a wild night of uninhibited tongue gymnastics.
Each and every time a “True Eagle” walks past Gibby, a flood of distracting and lascivious thoughts must spring up, detracting from their ability to walk without falling. Thusly bruised and tender knees cannot be knelt upon while pleading to Dr. Uhlig for extra credit points to be given out for their “date” the previous night.
If there is any good thing about the whole affair, is that it is a departure from the old-fashioned courting paradigm. It is fresh and progressive. It challenges what we were brought up to believe. Let’s face it; it is decidedly liberal. Even though this event on face seems to advocate our promotion of challenging the status-quo, it lacks any morally redeeming value that could benefit the students.
All in all, True Eagle night is a shameful display of unbridled lust and deteriorating standards. As long as ASCEU continues to promote this activity, they can only expect likewise dodgy behavior from the studentbody.