Drama queens and player haters do not mix

This archived article was written by: Leland Laboto

Good afternoon to those who are reading this humble publication. You know, a funny thing happened to me just the other day as I was thinking of ideas for this article. However, that is a rather explicit story not fit for print in these pages. Instead I am writing about a group of people that do nothing for the betterment of our society.
No, I am not talking about President George W. Bush and his administration. This is a whole other group of no good, dirty somethings.
As a matter of fact, these people, if they can even be referred to as such, do nothing but drag the rest of us down. I am not sure if this particular group of people have a politically correct term, so I shall refer to them as they are known in the streets. I am speaking about haters, or as most may know them: player haters.
For those who are not familiar with this particular group of motherless pigs, I shall do all I can to explain who I am talking about. Many different kinds of player haters exist, but the short definition is someone who, for no apparent reason, does not like to see others doing well. They cannot handle anyone else having success at anything, especially if it is something that they are trying to do.
These are little pieces of skunk doo-doo that are always saying something negative about something you may have done, no matter what it is and most likely in a nice tone of voice. Do not confuse them with someone that you generally do not get along with. This sort of behavior is to be expected from somebody with whom you may already be having some kind of problem. Although most of the time, haters do become those kind of people. No, I mean the people that are generally nice to your face but then you hear about them saying things about you behind your back because they don’t have the courage to say something to your face. They talk, and talk just putting all of your business out in the street but deny it when confronted.
Other ways that these filthy, little toe-jam lickers do what they do is say things to you to make you feel bad about yourself. They see you in a new outfit, or doing something that they wish they had thought of doing and criticize you for it. So you go around feeling like a dweeb and/or embarrassed for some unspecified amount of time. Then you turn around and who do you see doing the same thing they talked down on you for doing claiming they thought of it first? Can you guess? Here is a little hint, it rhymes with mayor daters. These are the people who are nice to your face and then talk bad about you to others. These are the people who will take credit for something you may have done.
But the absolute worst of this particular group of Godless heathens are those that see you trying to make a little time with a potential special someone and put you down in front of them. Whether your trying to get someone to be with in the long term, or just trying to get some. They do not like it. I have no idea if they are not capable of going out and finding someone for themselves or what the deal is. The simple fact of the matter is, you are getting some and they are not.
Everybody knows someone, or even several someones like this. This is the dude at the party that sees you talking to the lovely lady on the couch and waits until you get up for one reason or another, then goes and starts telling her about the time when he broke his leg and his father had to mortgage the house to pay for it. His parents cant make the payments, so are now on the verge of being homeless. They may or may not be telling the truth, most likely not, but what is happening is that they don’t want you to be talking to the lovely lady on the couch. Not like they are going to end up being with her either, but they couldn’t get a lady to talk to them so they figure why should you get to? In case anybody is wondering, I have actually witnessed this particular occurrence.
All the ladies will recognize these people in the form of the little drama queen that gets all teary and just flips out over some kind of random drama and goes and tries to get some sympathy from the guy that you were just talking to. You know the one, she was good friends with him five years ago and felt like he was the only one she could talk to about this because nobody else would understand. Again, she is most likely not going to end up leaving with him, but she really does not care because as long as she has her way, neither are you. And once again, this is also an occurrence that has happened in my presence. Just the other day a lady I know and thought was cool found out that my friend is involved with this other lady and started spreading rumors almost immediately. I could go on, but I am sure you get my point. I am talking about those that will do anything to bring someone else down for no other reason than that they cannot achieve the same thing.
I sincerely hope that everyone of these people go home tonight and get up to go to bed, turn off the lights and stub their little pinky toe. It starts to bleed and their little toenail is just hanging there by a piece of skin, some dirt gets under it, infection sets in and they have to amputate. I am so serious about this, it’s the least that they deserve. Why can people not just be happy for someone else that has done something positive with themselves? Why can they not just leave others be? Why do they have to hate? Like the question of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie pop, the world may never know.