This archived article was written by: Les Bowen & BJ Harmon
This season is going by too fast and there is so much to do. We both had a lot to do this week and somehow managed to do it all Monday. Naturally, we had time to spend our afternoon walking around looking for things to put in this column rather than get caught up on anything. Gold.
April Fools a day early
According to one of our alert readers, whom we will call Joe to protect his identity, the residents in Sessions Hall really enjoy their of ping pong. They have been playing on a table which recently arrived in the hall’s common area. Sessions Hall really is in the Far East. Will CEU be competing against the champions from Korea and Taiwan?
The ping pong table was taken from Sessions Hall either late in the evening of March 30 or the morning of March 31, and placed atop the east entry way at the Jennifer Leavitt Student Center. Bill Osborn, assistant dean of students, confirmed rumors that the offender confessed and will compensate by buying a new net and other equipment.
We wonder if the punishment fit the crime. Does it replace the bent legs, or pay for the help of the physical plant and their forklift? Does it make up for all the lost time that students in Sessions could have used to practice their ping pong skills? Does it answer the biggest question of all: How on earth did they get the thing up there?
Things that still don’t go there
We need to update the current condition of the five-person bicycle that we wrote about a few issues ago. While wandering, we found it in a jumbled heap outside of Sessions Hall. Hopefully no one was hurt in the process of its destruction. The bike is in the same category as the swinging boots outside the SAC that have been there all year.
Of course, we realize that the facilities maintenance personnel have been busy lately. Disposing of the junk heap is just one more thing on their already long list of things to do.
Then we noticed what we had been missing. There were some rocks (we counted eight of ’em) strategically placed outside buildings on campus. We were told there were pennies glued to them at one time. Who has time to draw faces on rocks, glue pennies to them and then scatter them in the middle of the night? Furthermore, what about our old friends at facilities maintenance? They are sure busy with the spring projects they have going on campus. This hard-working staff will have to interrupt other more important projects so they can pick up the rocks and put them back in front of the BDAC where we assume they were taken from.
Although this is not as destructive as the incident with the ping pong table, we agree that it was just as pointless. Tell us why you did this. Is there some hidden meaning? Should we be scared that this is some new gang’s way of tagging its territory? Are we going to have to get rid of a certain color from our wardrobe? What colors are we talking about? Not blue again! Let it be yellow. We don’t have any yellow clothes at all. It’s sure flashy so everyone will know to run from the kids in yellow.
Most likely, this is some sort of juvenile prank and no one will get hurt. Just for the record, Gibby Jr. has come and gone. Nice try, but no points for originality.
It’s all fun and games
Fortunately, no one has lost an eye despite our mother’s warnings.
Regardless of our ranting in last issue, we enjoy Kiahtipes’ articles in The Eagle. Thanks for letting us use your line: “Don’t be a baby.”
• Have you noticed something worthy of our mention? Send your comments to [email protected], but don’t expect us to reply, respond or even care.