Fri. Sep 20th, 2019

Top five quotes from family-friendly comedies

5. DUMB AND DUMBER
Part a:
Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this. 
Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver’s full of $#!T.

 Part b:
Harry: [shivering] Lloyd, I can’t feel my fingers, they’re numb! 
Lloyd: Oh well here, take this extra pair of gloves, my hands are starting to get a little sweaty. 
Harry: Extra gloves? You’ve had extra gloves this whole time? 
Lloyd: Uh yea, we are in the Rockies

5. (Tie) TOMMY BOY
Tommy: Richard? Is this your coat? 
Richard: Don’t do it. 

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This archived article was written by: Nathan Manley and Hayden Peterson

5. DUMB AND DUMBER
Part a:
Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this. 
Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver’s full of $#!T.

 Part b:
Harry: [shivering] Lloyd, I can’t feel my fingers, they’re numb! 
Lloyd: Oh well here, take this extra pair of gloves, my hands are starting to get a little sweaty. 
Harry: Extra gloves? You’ve had extra gloves this whole time? 
Lloyd: Uh yea, we are in the Rockies

5. (Tie) TOMMY BOY
Tommy: Richard? Is this your coat? 
Richard: Don’t do it. 
Tommy: Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat. 
Richard: Don’t 
Tommy: [singing] Fat guy in a little coat. / Fat guy in a little coat. 
Richard: Take it off, Dickhead, I’m serious! 
Tommy: Richard! What’s happening? 
[coat rips] 
Tommy: Uh oh! 

4. BILLY MADISON
Principal: Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

3. A KNIGHTS TAIL
Roland, Chaucer, Kate, Wat: [singing] He’s blond, he’s pissed, he’ll see you in the lists, Lichtenstein! Lichtenstein! He’s blond, he’s tanned, he comes from Gelderland, he comes from Gelderland! Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland… Gelderland, Gelderland, Gelderland…
Chaucer: [singing] He’s quick, he’s funny, he makes me lots of money, Lichtenstein! Lichtenstein!

2. WITHOUT A PADDLE
Jerry Conlaine: So this is Spirit River, we take that to Widowmaker Bend and then we hike to Devil’s Staircase and that should lead us right to the top of Hellfire… 
Dan Mott: What’s with all these satanic names? Isn’t there, like, a Fluffy Bunny Way? 
Tom Marshall: No… but there’s a Shut-Up-You-Big-Baby Ridge. 

1. HAPPY GILMORE
Nursing Home Orderly: Good news, everybody, we’re extending arts and crafts time by four hours today. 
Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt. 
Nursing Home Orderly: What’s that? 
Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt. 
Nursing Home Orderly: Oh, well, now your back’s gonna hurt, ‘cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else’s fingers hurt?… I didn’t think so.

Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me go to sleep. 
Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will PUT you to sleep. Check out the nametag. You’re in MY world now, grandma! 

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