Everyone wants to be famous, but nobody wants to put in the work or the hours. Luckily, you don’t need to! TikTok is an app that displays short videos, ranging from five seconds to three minutes. Users scroll through a “#ForYou Page” to find creators and content that they enjoy watching. The kicker? Anyone can upload a video and go viral.
That’s why you don’t worry about “needing to work hard” or “grinding” your way up to the top. TikTok is an easy way to get famous. Take it from someone with fifty-two followers, the app is the easiest way to get rich the world has seen in years. Establish a following of sheep- I mean loyal followers- who will watch all your videos, and soon you’ll be swimming in piles of cash.
Ignore what other creators say about “the creator fund not providing them enough money.” They’re just trying to keep all the dough to themselves.
First things first, the algorithm. TikTok uses a formula similar to YouTube–the app takes and analyzes what kind of videos you spend your time on, and recommends you more of the same. In TikTok’s case, it will put them directly onto your #ForYou Page. There is absolutely nothing a creator can ever do to get their video on the #ForYou page. Hashtags don’t work and quality content just gets ignored. You need to pray to your deity of choice that the algorithm takes mercy on you and your videos. Once you build up a following, you can completely ignore the algorithm. People will be coming directly to your profile so you won’t need the algorithm anymore. Heck, you’ll be making so much money you can build your own algorithm.
Second, when making TikToks, volume is your best friend. The louder you are, the more people will stick around and watch your videos. Making a cooking vid? Yell out the name of every ingredient you’re using and what you’re doing with it. Advertising your new music video? Wake the neighbors up with your screaming. Making a comedy skit? Shout every line and joke, preferably at the top of your lungs. Loud noise is something every viewer appreciates, regardless of the topic of the video they’re trying to watch.
Third, overaggerating your reactions and movements is a surefire way to grab viewers attention. What does this mean? If you’re making a prank video, always make (a loud) shhh sound with your finger over your lips. That way, viewers are immediately pulled into your video and feel like they are “in” on the prank. Make sure the victim overreacts to getting pranked, including screaming and crying while you laugh and assure them that “It’s just a prank bro!”
Another example is if you’re making a cooking video, do something crazy like crack an egg on your head. Or throw it at your neighbors. Or throw it out at that dog on the lawn. That way you attract an audience of people who love watching cooking videos, and they’re hooked into the rest of your video. Or scroll onto the next. Doesn’t matter, so long as it’s still yours.
Fourth, keep your viewers on their toes! Put in random clips of dogs peeing on the lawn or a cat falling off a ledge. Even something like a clip from your favorite childhood cartoon, or a quote from Star Wars. Everyone loves surprises–your viewers are no exception! When making TikToks, you should always be thinking about how to surprise your viewers. After inserting an out of context clip, go back to whatever you were making like nothing ever happened. Viewers will be so confused that they need to watch your video twice, which is twice as many views for you! More views equals more money!
On that same note, make sure you never develop some kind of formula. Don’t build any running jokes for your viewer to pick up on–every single video you make needs to be different and unique. If everything is different and unique, viewers will always want to watch your videos because they never know what to expect! The more surprises you think up, the more money you make.
Fifth, if there’s something you need to pound into your brain, it’s quantity over quality. Everyone has the attention span of a gnat. They aren’t going to spend an extra ten seconds watching an interesting and well-made video if they could just be moving onto the next. That’s why you need to spam your account with poorly made, loud, surprise-filled videos. Your viewers will watch the first five seconds of all of them before moving on and liking the next, which is more likes and more money!
Sixth, do really stupid cool things for attention. Your number one priority should always be growing your channel. Why only limit that to what you do online? At the Thanksgiving dinner table, chew as loudly as possible and slam your silverware down onto the table whenever you can. When people start asking you what you’re doing, tell them about your channel! Your grandma and creepy aunt would love to follow you.
You can also get on top of the tables at school, and harass everyone who passes by to follow you. Or, you take a toddler’s tablets and follow your account on their devices. They’ll thank you later. Better yet, make a video about doing all these cool things. Don’t forget to insert a random clip of you telling people to follow! Doing this, you’ll have thousands of extra followers.
Seventh, and one of the most important steps, is to have an outro. Play super hip, preppy music that gets viewers pumped for the next time you upload. They should be rewarded if they actually stayed till the end, after all.
Following this seven step guide will get you hundreds of thousands of followers on TikTok. People across the world will know your name soon enough.