This archived article was written by: Caitlin Wright
One of the most ridiculous and ignorant phrases I have ever heard is, “everything happens for a reason.” I respectfully, but strongly, disagree. The whole idea that we have no control over anything that happens to us is, pardon me, stupid. When someone tries to explain that to me, it’s like saying that no matter what I do and what choices I make, whatever is destined to happen to me will happen; despite the good or bad choices I may or may not make. Hogswallup!
Whatever experience comes my way and whatever trials I may have to face, whether or not they happen because of something I have done or caused, I can still decide how that experience effects me. I can keep it from getting worse by the way I look at the situation or I can make it worse by having a terrible attitude.
If this statement were in fact true, it would justify and legitimize every horrible and heinous crime ever committed. It cancels out the entire idea that people have freedom of choice and are capable of making their own decisions. The woman that gets raped obviously doesn’t have a choice, but the perpetrator certainly does. He isn’t forced to make that decision by something pre-destined, but he is in a certain place at a certain time. With certain choices before him, he acts one way because he chooses to, and no one else.
Granted, I am not saying that nothing happens for a reason or that we have complete control over everything that goes on around us. Naturally, all the people that died in the 911 attack on the Twin Towers didn’t really have a choice and sometimes that can’t be helped. But going back to the rapist, he had a choice and it was a terrible one.
In the instance of a less horrid situation, such as your car running out of gas during a snowstorm while wearing flip-flops, surely this is not destiny. More than likely it is a bad case of rotten luck or just plain stupidity, but it just continues to show that everything does NOT happen for a reason. It is all based on the choices we make and the circumstances that we create for ourselves.
You have to find something that you have learned or some positive aspect that comes out of what you experience. If you don’t have some introspection, depending on the situation, you may find that you have contributed to the event and through a process of analyzing things and seeing what the causes were, you can avoid future problems. Everything happens for a purpose if you make a purpose out of it.