Wed. Nov 20th, 2019

How to stick it to sickness

Oozing snot, stuffed up head, stomach pain, and the fear that unless you’re constantly near the toilet you’re going to make a mess. Isn’t being sick great? It’s the one time when you get love and attention from your parents, and barely lift a finger.

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This archived article was written by: Cassidy Scovill

Oozing snot, stuffed up head, stomach pain, and the fear that unless you’re constantly near the toilet you’re going to make a mess. Isn’t being sick great? It’s the one time when you get love and attention from your parents, and barely lift a finger.
Getting sick used to be great, you got to miss school, mom made you soup and you got to watch cartoons all day. Sure you might puke all over your room and yourself but, you were not the one who had to clean it. Even though you were oozing fluids out of every orifice, you had no responsibility, because your mother was there. School, work or covered in one’s own bile used to be such a simple choice.
It took getting sick at the dorm for me to realize that I am unequipped at living away from my mother. You don’t get sympathy from your dorm mates. You get thinly veiled scorn, and disgusted looks from them. I went from a caring mother to a group of guys who mock your sickness. If you make the mistake of falling asleep in the open, you are almost guaranteed to have an inappropriate image drawn on your cheek. There is no steaming soup, no person putting a spoonful of medicine in your mouth, and there is definitely no one calling you out of school.
In the dorms when you get sick, it’s like what happens to the weakest animal in a pack. The others are just waiting for a weakness and when they find it, they pounce. Your ramen noodles become their ramen noodles because you’re sick and you can’t eat it anyway. All you can do is whisper a half-hearted, “please don’t.” They assure you that food will only make you sicker. You barely have the strength to not vomit all over your crotch, let alone shoe away the buzzards.
Living in the dorms might be bad, but it isn’t the end for you, facing your instructors is much worse. Instructors have no emotion or heart and will never see how sick you are. They will tell you it’s not excuse, you’re an adult and the fact that you vomited all over yourself and your other classmate isn’t a reason for you not to take notes. No amount of bodily fluid on the floor will get the instructors off your case, they are indifferent toward suffering. Taking a test while you are sick is like trying to walk with a broken leg. You rush through every question trying not to cover you paper in snot.
Don’t think this is the end though, you have one way to make them regret ever taking advantage of your illness. You are sick and that must mean you got the sickness from another person. Like the gift that keeps on giving you try your damndest to infect everyone else. If you are questioning the morality of infecting others then get rid of those questions. There is no honor when at any moment you might be struck with a horrible urge to spew.
There is no greater feeling than getting better while those around you begin to slip slowly into sickness. You begin to feel empowered, and when they start blaming you for it you feel is justified.
Every cough and sniffle is like music to the ears of the recently sick. Maybe it’s just me and I enjoy seeing others get what I had, but hey we all have our vices.

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