This archived article was written by: Kyle VanAmen
1. Because theater is still useless- So the battle continues. Here is my closing statement about this subject. There are better degrees in general than a theatre degree. 2. Because I find it funny that people still argue with me- This just shows that my articles get to you. People have all this time to write me, a low-life under-grad, about how amazing your degree is while you’re supposed to be working. If I wrote a doctor about how his degree is useless, he would never read it because he would be too busy doing something that matters. 3. Because no one can argue with a man who has a beard- As some of you know I do have a beard. I have gotten into some arguments with some people, but in the end I always win. Why, because I have a beard. Chuck Norris has a beard and does anyone argue with him? No they don’t. 4. Because no one else can complain- The great part about this being my last article is that I don’t have to hear any more people crying about what I write. I can just get this one published and they can keep all those emotions to themselves. 5. Because I never get to- With me getting married and all, I have already learned a valuable lesson. The woman is always right. That being said, I never get to have the last word, so I will be taking full advantage of it right now. 6. It feels like I win the argument- It may feel like I win the argument but the truth is, I actually do win. I always win in the end, because I have a beard and I’m going to be a paramedic and save your life one day. Then you will owe me, you will want to take back all those false things you said about your degree and say that I was right all along. 7. It makes people mad- Just look at all the angry responses I have gotten. I’m doing my job. 8. It makes people laugh- The people that I have talked to love my articles, they think they are funny. I try to make them funny but there are some people who can’t take a joke. Those people are what make my job so much fun and make my articles funny. 9. It usually is pretty deep- Whenever I write my articles I try to make them as deep as possible and I usually do. I make Stephen Hawking look like a kindergartner. Who am I kidding? I’m not deep at all. I just love to make people mad and laugh. 10. I always want to- Who doesn’t like to have the last word? I know I love to and the rare times I get to I take advantage. And the best part is that I really get to have the last word and it’s published! I love writing for the newspaper. Well newspaper readers as you probably guessed this is my last article. It has been a fun year here a USU Eastern, with lots of great times to reflect on. I have loved writing for the newspaper and making people irked. The thing I will miss the most about Eastern is all the new friends I have made this year, even all you theater majors who I now have a relationships with. It has been great, but all great things must come to an end, so they say. So consider this my last hurrah. Have a great life.